I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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