at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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