those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
we made out on top of his cat.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Randomize