Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
