I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
