can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
