i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
