I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
mondays should just be called national damage control day
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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