so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
