at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
