Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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