My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i love accidental penises.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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