Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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