How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
