Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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