haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
We got so high we made milksteak
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
