You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
