I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
