Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Randomize
