I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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