it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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