You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
