I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
