took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
