we're chasing vodka with high fives
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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