She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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