My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
if i died would you start the facebook group?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
