You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize