i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
