glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
