Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
