The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
