I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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