I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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