Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize