So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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