It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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