i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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