Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
