I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
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It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
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