let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
We have so much sex to catch up on
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
