evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
