the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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