Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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