3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
