That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
