happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
