honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
