i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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