is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
