Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
