I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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