i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
