You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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