No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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