Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
