5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
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Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
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Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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