Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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