Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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