Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
