I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
